This post is a slightly different yet very difficult one to explain, and even write. For one, I am not going to spend too much energy on it.
10th Oct 2010 I was diagnosed as having sarcoidosis. I had all symptoms (the medics loved me!), including shadows in my body, and weird shit on my skin and in my eyes. What followed this diagnosis of a hideous illness was loss of job, loss of home, and eventual bankruptcy (charities Ssafa and The RBL had got involved by then). Anyone wants to know why the government pretty much abandoned me then please ask! I went down on record as single white male – hence I’m at the bottom of all list’s for help.
Sarcoidosis came to my rescue, because I was ill, a home through Bradford’s open moves (lovely lady helped me big time), became available two weeks before I was due to be evicted (I was at a top friends home when the call came through). Daft thing is, I’m sort of ‘cool’ with this as it’s all a blur…
What followed was ridiculous assessments by Atos; I was fit for work yet my body was falling to bits! The disability section of the employment office were quite sickened, as were my medics, even my GP banged his desk when we were going through ‘stuff’ ffs. I did still try carrying on with life as erm, most would class as ‘normal’ yet the weight loss was bonkers.
I volunteered to get work through Leeds Remploy. They couldn’t understand why I decided upon this, I did because I wanted to work. In the meantime my case had reached the parliamentary ombudsman (MP involved). Even though I failed at each stage of getting there, I got there! This in itself wasn’t good for my health, so I finally, and annoyingly withdrew. At the same time other drugs were being swallowed, esp the 40mg/day of prednisolone.
Harping on far more than I intended.
I got quite ill when working through Remploy and then that job finished.
Early 2015, and after Atos visited me I was awarded (means tested) ESA and placed into the Support group, I was awarded (means tested PIP (replacement to DLA)), and to my surprise some was back dated. I’m covered until 2017/18 and do try return to friends some of that passionate help they gave me. I still intend on working, but my body fails under any form of stress and anxiety, do the doubters want me to die – answers please…
The idea of my benefits is to try and allow me to live rather than survive. So, to those who have called me a lefty cunt and scrounger, to those who do wonder how and why, and to those who don’t understand what and how the ‘system’ works.
It’s fucking difficult…
