I’m thinking a bumpy few months to years are again approaching, oh well, I had a few weeks of remembering what it was like to feel relatively normal! This time the ankles are gaining dots rather than blemishes?
The other morning these two pigeons were having a right fight, quite viscous really, a little unclear but they would open their wings right out and then launch their feet at each other, or maybe I was wrong and they were having a mating session?!
Well, the banding of my ‘piles’ failed, and so they decided to give me these, the doctors said that they should be used after each movement, and so, I moved to the bathroom, then moved to the bedroom and then to the kitchen, hmmm, feeling a bit on the full side with these Uniroid-HC suppositories…
Its the first time iv opened a post in that manner. Last week, when last years acupuncture dots appeared on my ankles, I knew the sarcoid was raising its shit head again, in remission for two months and a steady reduction of the ‘Pred’ simply brought it on, proper fucked off.
Also heard I had not achieved the measurement technician position. Upon applying it was mentioned that they need 12, I should have walked it, obviously I didn’t, two rejections in a week, although the first I was way too informal, the second I tried…
Im on £6:60/hour, £13.7k/year, I work so hard, don’t fuck about, great for team moral and humour, huh… Very happy to have been given that chance to get back into work through Leeds Remploy, but the reliance on tax credits is also a major factor, the credits are due to drop early 2014, hence I would hope to progress within the structure, most are on a substantial amount greater than me. I know im worthy of a living wage and not a surviving one, still a few months, yet the sarcoid is here too.
It is so difficult explaining to folks it has returned, I knew last week but dare not say, once I say so then I get folks saying I might be wrong, it might be in my imagination, wait and see, chin up, fight the fucker…
As Bernie Mac said ‘I’m now tired’ in his hospital bed with pneumonia through a chest infection. I had a chest infection and needed anti-pneumonia tablets, still and though im tired, I will push on, I know most mean well, but please do not patronise me, sarcoidosis is a serious shit that causes death.
This is just as dirty as blues can get, never mind the southern states, this is an unknown from West Yorkshire, absolutely awesome (buzz word I know!)…
Hmmm, researched, revised, rehearsed, and readied myself, thinking I have lost my spark for interviews to progress within? used to be terrific. Supposing the last few rough years can count as being pretty hard, then a massive positive of gaining employment through the Leeds branch of Remploy, then further positives of the sarcoid going into remission and slowly getting off the ‘drugs’ allowed me to think about progressing in work.
Over the years I have always advanced within my employment, a little annoyed at myself why I now mess up, the first interview I knew I weren’t good and that I was just happy to get it, this interview I did what I used to do as it would be my ideal, half in the office and half on site, the work itself I know im capable of, but, I struggled to get answers out – that I knew – and so…
In a nut shell, I enjoy what im doing, I work hard, I like the whole group, its just that, in a few months my tax credits will drop, and then, its going to be a proper struggle, a proper struggle brings worry, worry can bring on the anxiety, which in turn can eventually cause my sarcoid to raise its ‘shit’ head, I just need to live and not survive, but it might all be in my mind or am I really a shadow of my former self, rejected?
Most of us sarcoids know we can have skin problems, especially the red ankle blemishes that can reach pretty near to the knees. Just lately I have got dots appearing on my ankles, these dots are just where the acupuncture needles were stabbed into my tendinitis ankles, they tried but it just didn’t work.
I have gone off the subject a little, its very unusual for me to go on tangents but it can happen, in fact if you can talk in tangents it is possibly to hold many in flesh person conversations at the same time, not online as that’s easy, sometimes I think that talking in tangents is just a phenomena that folks are trying to use just to make them appear confusing, therefore attractive to other souls who might need away out of being confused, you know the type…
While so many folks are harping on about ‘fracking’ then they should remember how many earth tremors are caused by subterranean (or whatever) mining, and hmmm, more later I guess, but some very new news is here about sink holes in Yorkshire, follow this link to find some unusual photos of the phenomena.
Back in April I got my Bianchi bike through the cycle to work scheme, and, well its in the following photos, was I lazy or simply procrastinating, yes I know, its the latest buzz word but, we all do it, don’t we? let me take some time out to try see if we all do, I will sort it later? oh, the bike ride…
I got all the finishing kits back in May, and that’s where they stayed for a while.
Thinking this cordless sigma computer would be difficult to fit I left it until the last kit for me to fit, how wrong, proper easy and with nice big digits too!
Feeling under pressure, my own fault as I threatened through Facebook to go for a ride, and erm, I just couldn’t get out of it after a friend give me some nice stick…
Yes its really me, in fact, I felt like a fully unfit cyclist rather than a sarcoid struggling to breath, very happy to have put myself under pressure!
In the Wharfe valley at the old lane bus stop, huge rain fall and thunder, something about rain on an umbrella, that sound, being dry, listening to thunder, don’t you just love it? Enormous therapy for an awful lot of folks, almost as good as the bubble wrap therapy here!
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, read the Blues in Britain magazine review or listen to my BCB Radio interview.