Category Archives: Blog

Let it be cleared Up

1982, probably May or June? A night out had happened with a few from the East Bradford Cycling Club in Bradford, we went for a curry, I think it was the Kashmir? Lets cut loads out…

It was noticed he had gone missing. I was the one who went to find out where he was as no one else either cared or seemed to be bothered, but I liked him and cared – as I always have for many folks, too much in many situations. I ventured outside and noticed some folks were around him against a wall. I rushed back in and told the others that he ‘is in a spot of bother’ but, I got a look, a very blank look from all and was advised to leave it.

Hmmm, I went back outside to witness those folks put something in his mouth before starting to kick him. Let me be clear, at this point I am very unsure what happened, I have no memory of it but the next memory I have is of him attacking me, by then the cyclist’ were outside and stopped that grapple. What do I say? I was told to leave it? I was from Windhill. At only 17 I’d never left anyone in trouble, on the contrary folks use to leave me in the shit, hang on, those in the curry ‘shop’ did leave me and even worse leave him in the shit.

You.

Tour de France 1982 and the issue was brought up, kind of upset me and again it was mentioned to drop it, you weren’t there, it still bothered me as many on that Bradford night out were there. On my 18th birthday in Italy I kicked and punched some of those who told me to leave you, that was at Como, proper shame as after that second holiday to visit the Tour de France and then onto Italy (first was in 1981), I decided to leave the East Bradford Cycling Club.

Later I joined the Royal Air Force, only for a short time. Upon leaving the RAF I re-joined the EBCC, saw you only once at a dinner (1991 or 92 or 93?) of which you blanked me and my ex wife, I was trying to be nice. It was the same dinner I opened a bottle of champagne and it hit (I cant remember the chaps name) but it hit an older fella on his forehead after bouncing off a ceiling or wall? On my right Dave Rayner was sitting next to me, boy was that an enjoyable funny night, a good night that you didn’t recognise I was trying to apologise to – although I had no need.

You see, so many cyclist’ seemed to go transparent at times of trouble…

All mentioned here are indeed facts.

Dave Mann wins (He also caused some problems with me but he now knows). Alan Stephenson there you are, from the right; Dave, Bernie, your younger brother (name?) you and I…

DM2

A shadow…

‘Fuck you arsehole’

Up you

Who melted?

As I touched her nose she started melting, she called out to be kissed.
The spike appeared, I cried as she returned into the sheet.
Grabbing the flatness she could see me.
Lifting me ever higher I thought I was going to slide over the edge.
Yet I must remember, under me she was yet still is.
Where to now? she needs to break the sheet and allow us to join.

Needing to wake up.

It’s not a mirror but a silhouette within the thin sheet.
Sliding I twisted my hands, I looked below, then she was above.
She positioned to kiss my nose.
My finger reached her lips, I was on that edge.
Grabbing with knuckles showing I tightly held on.
I could feel something pointing into the rear of my neck.

I must wake up.

Those lips still needed kissing.

Calling out she asked me to stay.
To please kiss her and not go away.
Holding my hand out for that sweet sheet.
The spike will happen, again when I’m weak.

Squeezing the sheet I woke.

PS, meeting I still would SER.

It’s all glass.

Waking down

Good grief.

Go to sleep trying not to think then it all goes bonkers which seems to result in a sleeping up, you know, it’s a dream but actually it really is a dream. So ‘we’ stay still smelling some breath on those toes, nope the legs are just restless so keep still, but you just can’t keep those legs still. Must keep still, then the breathing happens in the left ear. At this point moving around is whats needed but you can’t. Pointless trying now as shallow breathing through the nose just might beat it?

Waking thinking trying to work 53 years out but most is inside.

Dud looks my stinking fart.

Zzz…

It’s still there though.

Facebook is shite

Over the years Facebook has changed. Now it seems full of folks harping on about their brilliant holidays, brilliant life, brilliant this and brilliant that. But when an opinion is posted by some of us ‘twats’ about facts then many of those brilliant ‘folks’ can get very personal and insulting. It seems they really do not like the facts that actually happen outside of their brilliant bubble.

I still tinker with it but mainly bounced off Twitter, about some of my depressive shite and also my Sarcoidosis page. I have reasons to keep in touch with certain folks and if I had the bollocks to give up my Sarcoid page I would, otherwise outside of messaging its fucking shite…

Brilliant

Mates

Quite amusing it was.

Approaching she said I was looking somewhat lonely? I did reply letting her know that I’m content in these situations.

‘Have you got any mates?’ She asked.

‘I have some really good friends thanks, not many but pleased with the few’ I replied.

‘You are by yourself though? With no mates on you’

‘On me? erm’

This lady started to confuse me. She took off her shoulder bag and started to part its fastening clips.

‘No, I asked if you had any mates, on you’ she carried on

By now the bag was open, she showed me two packets of three condoms of the Mates type.

‘Ah ha’ I nervously replied.

‘I wondered if you would like to share some of my friends’ she eagerly asked in a gentle voice.

‘It’s been almost nine years and you look half my age, I cant, sorry’ I was sweating some drops down my cheeks by now.

‘What are you called’

‘Many things but Stuart is the main one’

‘Stuart, I am divorced and do have a teenage son’ she declared.

‘Oh, then you are older than I’m thinking’

‘How old are you thinking’

’28 going on 42′ I cringed.

I thought I heard some deep breathing?

‘Stuart, come on, lets share those mates eh…’

‘If I must…’

Excitedly I woke dribbling into my beard with deep breathing and a rare erection. My pillow was hugging me. Depressingly I tried to go back to sleep.

She never gave me her name or age.

It’s time..

To get on with my site properly…?!

brolly
Fuck knows.

Facebook is shit, I want off but I have my Sarcoidosis page, so I guess it will all now be done on here.

Fed Up

Brilliant

James Stewart ‘Its a Wonderful Life’

Though it’s a nice thought to have an angel like Clarence looking over oneself I doubt one would slip in the river before I do.

clarenceangel1

My beautiful boys

Oh, obviously? I’m in the middle!

Proud

Socialism doesn’t work but Kindness does

Guess I will keep this utterly short. Socialist folks, does anyone notice how extreme they can get? Like…

“If you don’t agree with me then your a cunt. If you vote conservative your a twat. What I say is correct, your wrong” etc.

Far many other things but anyway, what they don’t ‘get’ those short views are on the edge if not already part of fascism. I’ve been through this too many times with that lot I can no longer be arsed with them.

I do not hate folks for who and what they vote for – any party though I might well disagree with them.

Whats my point?

Anyone can be kind on any side of any vote – it’s not rocket science and doesn’t need ‘tons’ of research. Imagine if everyone who can (and can’t) helped those in need, I know people from all backgrounds and I don’t care who and what they vote for, they are actually very kind.

I also know many folks that claim to be a ‘socialist’ and help no one but simply talk about it.

As I said, utterly short (not short enough!) though I still spent too much time trying to explain kindness works, socialism doesn’t – they are fascists…

Being kind = your good.

Oh, I vote Labour and also voted for #Brexit as I’ve wanted out since 1984.

brolly