You know, many many years ago folks would get buried, as they still can but, no longer do they have a ‘connection’ to the outside world – just in case that, well, they are not dead. Once upon a time some folks did get buried – with a bell on their head stone, usually to pick up breathing or simply rip the bell off by hand, arrggghhhh…
What or who would think of such potential scariness which ended up being Taphophobia erm (yes I looked it up!). Have you seen the movie ‘Buried’ with Ryan Reynolds, fuck me it is not a horror movie but it is one of the most uncomfortable films I have ever seen, I do have some experiences and nope, confined spaces are not for me, especially as I get older.
Where were we? Ah, being buried alive and safety coffins. The first known record of this type of coffin being used was in 1792 devised by Duke Ferdinand of Brunswick, I guess he too was also paranoid…
Okay, I really am getting there.
The all new Burial Phone, it has at least eight foot of antenna, which connects to a built in signal receiver in the head stone, it has at least a three month battery life, also the phone would have a special SIM with unlimited texts that expire after the chosen variable contract ends. The manufacturer – British Petroleum, have stated all the phone plastics used are reusable, but only if the person buried ends up being alive or your money back.
